As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
