Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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