..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
last night I used snow as a chaser
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