Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
