Nicole vs. Life
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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