FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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