my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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