GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Everyone says I win the strip club
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
