I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
