I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
