You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
