i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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