Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
