He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
