I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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