It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
