oh god the rape fog is back!
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
