Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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