my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
