Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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