i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
