I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You made out with two different species that night
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
