and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
