My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
