Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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