yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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