I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
