Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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