I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
