Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
