where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
