I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
