So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
