We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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