idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize