Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
