TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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