yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize