new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
