I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize