dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I don't think brook has ever known best
this beer tastes like vomit already
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
tell me about the fingering
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