This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
