Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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