How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
