i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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