Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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