bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
