When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Sober January is a disaster.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
