Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
