She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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