It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
