capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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