apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
