My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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