well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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