So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
