5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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