shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
