why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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